How to Adopt a More Positive Mindset

Now, before I get into the steps below on how to improve your mindset, I need to make a disclaimer: if your mental health is affecting your day-to-day life negatively, then you should absolutely seek help from trained professionals or trusted and supportive loved ones. As someone who has had to do this myself, I can say that as scary as it can be, it can also completely change your life for the better. A positive mindset is no replacement for proper serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine levels!

However, with that being said, sometimes there are some really simple steps we can take to begin the journey towards a happier and more fulfilling life. Some things may work for you, others won’t. All of the things I’ve included in this post are things that have worked for me, but friends of mine have had success with completely different techniques – different strokes, different folks!

Have a look, see what calls to you, and give it a go. You’ve nothing to lose by trying <3

One Positive Thing a Day

It’s first on the list because it’s my favourite – and wildly simple. You just need to note down one good thing that occurred every day.

The science behind it is that regularly writing down positive experiences can train your attention and memory to notice and retain positive information more readily. When I was studying mindfulness, an allegory that really stuck with me was the idea of thinking of the brain as if it were a field – the paths that are the easiest to take, are the ones that you’ve taken many times before, because as we walk, a path forms from our steps. The brain is similar in that the more we complete an action, the stronger that pathway in our mind becomes. Regularly focusing on the positive trains your brain to notice the positive.

The fun aspect of this one, for me at least, was creating monthly pages to note down my positive experiences on:

I made mine in procreate (which I cannot recommend enough to anyone to likes to be creative digitally), but canva could probably produce very similar, if not identical, results! I also got a lot of enjoyment reading these lists back whilst I was writing this post, as it’s also a short form way of journaling what I got up to every day!

Funnily enough, I actually didn’t do this for a particularly long time, but for six months I consistently wrote down something good about every day. It got to a point where I realised I wasn’t focusing on the negative or frustrating aspects of my life nearly as much as I used to, and I generally felt as if there were more good things happening in my life. When I looked at it from an analytical perspective, there wasn’t actually any difference in that aspect at all, but I had become more conscious to the good things happening day to day.

If you try anything from this list, I’d ask that you give this one a go!

A Bad Moment is Not a Bad Day

There’s a simple, and slightly harsh, saying that I heard one day that has stuck with me for the past six years since I’ve heard it:

‘Was it a bad day? Or, was it a bad moment that you milked all day?’

Now, I’m not recommending that we start telling everyone who says they’ve had a bad day that they’re milking it (as you’ll most likely get slapped at some point), but it is a helpful phrase to keep in mind when you find yourself thinking that a day has gone to the dogs.

This kind of phrase especially comes in handy when your day starts off with an inconvenience or disappointment, as I know that that has been enough in the past for me to write off an entire day. For example, on the journey into work, a road that I usually take is closed, meaning I have to take a far longer route which almost doubles my commute. There was a time when I’d absolutely say to myself ‘I can tell what kind of day today is going to be…’, but now, as inconvenient as a longer commute is, I’ll just think ‘That’s annoying,’ and move on.

That being said – there are still going to be days where things go wrong and do genuinely turn out to be a very bad day! In this instance, I’d pick something from my dopamine menu (separate post about this is in the pipeline) to pick me up, and make sure to take time to engage in something that makes me happy.

Speak to Yourself as if There’s a Child in the Room

I don’t mean speaking in gibberish or engaging in detailed discussions about Bluey, but using self-talk that you would want a child or young person to model if they were in your position.

Example: you drop a glass, it’s smashed everywhere. It would be very easy to devolve into swearing and calling yourself an idiot, but how would you want to teach a child to react to this?

For me, personally, it would be a simple ‘Oops! Now, what do I need to do to clean this up?’ No anger, no tears, no self-deprecation. It’s not needed!

Again, a little disclaimer – please don’t beat yourself up if you do swear and get frustrated when these things happen! I’ve literally lost my shit and cried because I burnt a toasted sandwich once, and there are many such instances… and probably will be again. Positive self talk is really good, but only when you can manage it!

Always have Something to Look Forward to

This one is the one that has seen me through some particularly rough patches.

What you look forward to doesn’t have to be huge – holidays, expensive purchases, or big social events are great every now and again, but not sustainable in the long-term.

I’m talking about a particular meal that you love for dinner after a day you know will be full-on. A bath by candlelight. A film night. A thirty-minute scroll on my phone guilt-free. A mooch around the shops to add things to my mental wish-list. This is another place where my dopamine menu comes in handy.

You can have a list of these things all planned out and scheduled, or just decide on them in the moment when you know you need something that brings you joy, but I will say that having at least one planned thing a week that is fun and just for the sake of bringing you happiness can be hugely beneficial.

In Conlcusion

I haven’t put together an insanely long list because when I was looking to help myself, huge articles that felt never-ending were just overwhelming when I was already in a place where I’d take any excuse to give up on things.

I’ll probably do more similar posts in the future, including one on creating your own dopamine menu, so keep an eye out for those if you’re interested!

I really hope that this post has been of some help, and if it makes a difference to even one person, I’d be overjoyed <3